KINGDOM OF THE VAMPIRE BY SMOKESKRENE

KINGDOM OF THE VAMPIRE (2007)






{overall rating}- * * *

{action}- Few and far between but well done where attempted.

{humor}- Its sort of campy for being modern. It does have some intentional humor.

{nudity}- Sorry, no.

{blood}- Yes.

{gore}- Your usual meaty throat rips and such. Not bad but very cheap. I admire film makers though who make cheap effects look good. Brett Kelly does.

{acting}- Production can make acting seem bad. I think this is the case here. Very descent acting.

{plot}- It’s a great concept. The whole idea of the kid who should want to be a vampire actually being one and hating it is pretty original. There are some dialog type continuity errors. There is one scene with the sheriff that is painful.

{film quality}- Whatever they're filming on (I'm guessing digital) is fuzzy in darkness. Its very annoying on an HD TV.

{entertainment factor}- Honestly no one will ever believe me, but this is very entertaining.


Jeff (Brett Kelly also the director) is a douche that works in a video store. (Not unlike myself realistically.) The difference between Jeff and I is that Jeff's mom's has a hankering for girl scouts. (Not in a molester sort of way.) They are both vampires. His spankings come from a cross. (No really, a cross.) Jeff defends a girls honor in his video store and becomes infatuated with her. Which is good, she wants him. She "doesn't take just any video store clerk back to her pad." Apparently she will sleep with the ones she does. (Not in a "zzz's" sort of way.) Now Jeff finds himself torn between mommy vamp and the girl who has made him smitten. I would say that realistically I like about 1 out of every 12 horror, indie, brain damagesque films. I would definitely recommend this as a rent for anyone who likes this style, but most mainstream horror fans will not get or enjoy this movie. However, if you like a good concept and some "not always" bad acting you'll be entertained. I would of recommended a larger kill count and some gratuitous nudity.

2 comments:

K-Fleet said...

Ahh, I see you nabbed it before I could rent it.

Smokeskrene said...

I've seen bits and pieces of other Brett Kelly movies and this one is just slightly better than all the other stuff. It gets it over that hump of being watchable, so check it out. Return To Red not so much.