Scariest Places on TV by Smokeskrene

Sci-Fi's Scariest Places on Earth.



{overall rating}-**

{action}- Some times they do fast camera shots and stop motion tricks similar to 13 Ghosts.

{humor}- They sell this so hard its laughable.

{nudity}- Nun

{blood}- Some people don't know how to clean up 100 year old blood stains.

{acting}- Theres lots of acting even thow they'd make this seem like a documentary style reality show.

{film quality}- The production value is extremely high.

{entertainment factor}-

{Aprox. amount of time spent fast forwarding}- Thank god I DVR'd this. Maybe 15 minutes combined on 2 episodes.


So I was looking for something to watch on Dish and came across this. Thinking it would be some kind of historical information about scary places I was interested. What I got was not exactly what I was looking for. They do give you good history and some first hand accounts. The problem is their experts were super excited to prove something. Orbs that were definitely something being blown to a window like dust. Audio of someone rubbing against a microphone while asking questions was mistaken as audio evidence of something. The whole show is put together great. If you don't care about being lied to and mislead you might be entertained. I would definitely pass on watching this. If you want something good just stick with ghost hunters. These guys are using a digital camera to photograph in the dark and claiming the spots that aren't filled as orbs. Then they try to exorcise them. Not priests. No catholic church. But they they think they are something special. They use sound effects to cover up the boredom of their lackluster show. It would be great if the world were as scary as they make it seem. Its not so they make it up.

Tales from the Carnal Morgue Vol 1 by K-Fleet

Humor: 2
Blood: 2
Nudity: 3
Minutes FF’ed thru: none
Overall rating: 3

My first introduction to Steel Web Studios was through Slaughter Disc, a great horror-porn movie I saw over a year ago, and had to tell my friends about. Tales from the Carnal Morgue V1 is their next offering, which contains three horror shorts, with internet buzz around Mr. Buttons.

Mail Order Bride- Steven’s friend asks him to record Dr. Phobia’s All Night Frightfest on KUNT Channel 8 because his VCR is broken. VCR?, I thought, what about DVD-R or TiVo? Anyway, so Steven sees a commercial for the Personal Concubine-2000, a robotic woman who's guaranteed to satisfy his every need. Crushed from a recent break-up, he drops $3000 to build his new woman, which is delivered in a coffin-box, and looks like the Bride of Frankenstein and Morticia Addams. After a 12 hour charge, she's ready for programming, and by showing her his favorite porn, she’ll be able to fulfill his sexual desires. Before he leaves for work, he puts in a tape for her to watch, which unbeknownst to him, is only a partial copy of the intended movie, with the rest being the Frightfest shows. While awaiting his arrival home, she watches a cooking program, and decides to make her hard-working owner a feast. He rushes home anticipating the wild night to come, but instead of getting a love slave, HE gets sacrificed and eaten.

A great premise, with the best acting from Caroline Pierce (the robot-chick), but seems reminiscent of the movie Love Object. Oh yeah, nice set of robot boobs too. Rating: 3.

Mr. Buttons- Mr. Buttons, a clown doll, is created by a witch-girl who delves in black magic. The doll is sent to her married ex-lover as a curse, but is given to his daughter, Kelly, for her birthday. Mr. Buttons has an immediate overbearing stench, why?, because inside him is the witch’s finger, an ingredient used to seal the spell. Mr. Buttons is not your ordinary doll, in that every wish Kelly makes, he will ensure it comes true. Tired of hearing her parents fight, she makes a wish for it to stop, so Mr. B kills them. Kelly is institutionalized, and through the years, she keeps her best friend, Mr. B, close. An orderly takes him away from her, and through her rage, she makes a wish that he die on his own vomit, which is fulfilled by a drug overdose at the hand of Mr. B. In order to get rid of their problem, the institution deems Kelly cured, and releases her. She visits her brother, and while catching up, she explains how she tried to get rid of Mr. B many times, but he kept coming back, and that he was originally sent to their cheating father as an intent to bring death upon her and her brother. Disgruntled by her brother’s failure to see her while she was locked up, and teasing her as a child, her last wish is for him to die and burn in hell, which is carried out.

I can see why this is a film festival fave, as it caters to a wider audience and is reminiscent of Puppet Master, Blood Dolls, and Child's Play. Once again, sub-par acting, which makes me wonder if that's what's intended. Rating: 3.

Sustenance- Caroline Pierce returns in a second feature as Victoria, a woman who’s very self-conscious and displeased with her body, so she agrees to have a new weight loss procedure performed on her. After the operation, she wakes up confused, in pain, and locked in an isolated room. She passes the time by doing crossword puzzles and reading magazines. Her first meal is slid through an opening, and although she's unsure as to what it is, she consumes every last crumb. Her hysteria builds as the isolation, boredom, and unknown start to consume her. She’s drugged, and wakes up in even more pain than before, noticing an additional stitched opening on her stomach. Day-in, day-out, similar procedures are carried out, as the mad doctor continues his surgeries until there’s nothing left but her head, which is kept alive by a contraption and funnel-feeding. No body=no need for weight loss.

The full-frontal nudity will keep any pervs attention, but the other exploits of male masturbation and climax, and a pissing scene, seemed totally unnecessary, and merely thrown in for shock. What started as an interesting story, ended in disappointment. Once again, strong acting by Ms. Pierce. Rating: 3, for nudity (yeah, I'm one of those pervs).

For me, the stand-out feature was Mail Order Bride. Had the acting been stronger, it would’ve been more enjoyable. I just felt that the predominant campiness really worked against these films, and had there been higher-grade performances, they would have received higher marks. Granted, I like camp, but when it's clearly intended to be just that. And maybe that was the intent, but I felt they could have been so much more. I really had higher expectations from this studio on this one, having enjoyed Slaughter Disc so much. My suggestion for their next feature would be to ante up the quality of acting, and not use exploitive material just for the sake of shock value. I really look forward to more features and growth from this studio, and thanks to Dave Q for sending me promos.

Dark Places (Brain Damage Films) by K-Fleet

Humor: 2
Blood: 2
Nudity: 3
Minutes FF’ed thru: none
Overall rating: 2.5

Keri is a junkie prostitute who almost gets raped by her latest trick. In defense, she cuts him up with a razor blade. She scores her next hit, and shacks at Luther’s house for the night, a place for fellow druggies, street walkers, and indulgent behaviors. Her latest dose brings back flashbacks of her killing, and her paranoia begins to rise. Her newfound friend, Tim, gets his head bashed in by Luther, and his body is disposed of in the backyard. Keri is chosen as the next participant in Luther and friends' sex games, which on this occasion involves a large rubber phallus. (Ouch, my bum hurts!) Next, she’s being questioned at the police station about the murder, which is one of the worst interrogations I’ve ever seen. She maintains her innocence, and when the cops investigate her story, they find nothing, as it plays out to have been nothing more than a drug-induced delusion.

This is an older title from Brain Damage Films, and if you’ve watched any of their stuff, you know it’s hit and miss and sometimes way miss. But, this company drops 3-4 new movies a month and are currently hiring regional sales reps, so things must be on the up and up. This movie is okay, but nothing outstanding. The acting varies by person, but the lead actress, Nessa Hawkins, is pretty strong. Luther, on the other hand, is pretty lame, but does have a few wild one-liners that will raise a brow. If you’re a fan of low budget b-horror with a favorable helping of nudity, this is right up your alley. BDF offers such a wide variety of films, that there’s at least one that should please any horror or exploitation fan. A fave of mine is A Bothered Conscience, a tale of backwoods hysteria. Check it out and support Midwest (Arkansas) horror.

Cloverfield vs Asylum Pictures mockbuster Monster by K-Fleet

Humor: 2
Blood: 3
Nudity: none
Minutes FF’ed thru: none, I was in a theatre with no control
Overall rating: 3

So, I went to see Cloverfield and left as confused as I was before seeing it. I knew it was donned as “Godzilla meets The Blair Witch,” which for me, meant nothing, because I was never a big fan of either. I’ve never been a sci-fi geek, outside of Star Wars, and I wasn’t a fanatic, and horror only started consuming me about seven years ago, although I've had a looming interest for Jason Voorhees since grade school. Plus, I liked Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows better than the first. So, I went in with little expectation, as it was the most promising movie out of the eight to choose from, and it couldn’t be nearly as horrible as The Grudge 2, my worst theatrical outing to date.

In a nutshell, it was okay. Nothing really award winning in my eyes, but very watchable. A lot of things will have you saying, What the F-? What is that thing? Where did it come from? What are those? and I wish this was filmed better. But really, that’s what I believe J.J. Abrams wanted. He wanted you to watch it multiple times and still walk away saying, I really don’t understand a damn thing, but that creature was badass. Granted, the stop and start camera action gets old quick, but by mid-movie you're used to it.

Cloverfield isn't a must-see theatrical release, but it is one that all horror and sci-fi fans need to watch, if for nothing else than to pick it apart, point out it's faults, and see how it stacks up against the classic monster movies. I'm sure I’ll pick it up when it reaches DVD, probably won’t be the first in line, or pay full price, but it will hold a spot in my collection. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll get a little more insight on the special features as to what IT really is.

Humor: 1
Blood: 2
Nudity: none
Minutes FF’ed thru: probably about 15 minutes
Overall rating: 2

In the same weekend, I also had a chance to watch Asylum Pictures mockbuster version of Cloverfield called Monster. Familiar faces from some of their other films, like Sarah Lieving, who has talent, but it's not enough to save this crappy movie. The Cloverfield monster is now an octopus or squid looking thing, but I don’t recall ever seeing the actual creature, just it’s tentacles. We have the Blair Witch-esque style of shooting, with even more stops/starts and blackouts. Then, the picture continually goes fuzzy or distorts, which helps dig it an even deeper hole (to throw in). It’s almost like, oh, we really need to drag this story out longer, so let’s throw in some more camera/picture fragmentation.

When picking up an Asylum title, it’s usually a gamble, so try viewing the trailer before laying down your money. Yes, they’re made on a much lesser budget, but sadly, they're usually much lesser creatively too. But, something always seems to draw me back, and I end up renting the next one. They've definitely grown as a studio, and are really gaining a loyal fan-base. Some of their better ones include Intermedio, Beast of Bray Road, Rachel’s Attic, and Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers. Their next title is 2012: Doomsday slated for February 12th, so we'll see how it pans out.

Nature Morte by K-Fleet

Humor: 1
Blood: 2
Nudity: 3
Minutes FF’ed thru: none
Overall rating: 2
Other: Some dialog in French with English subtitles

John Stephensen, a sadomasochistic painter, likes to torture his subjects while he paints them. A copycat painter (Lec) breaks into his house and watches as he paints one of his masterpieces, and then kills himself. With two copies of John’s last painting floating around, one finished and one unfinished, a writer and dealer of Stephensen’s art, Oliver, tries to find out where they came from. He gets caught up in a world of drugs, sex, and death while trying to purchase Lec’s art, which ends in Oliver's apparent suicide. Blanche is Lec’s right-hand, and will do anything he asks. What follows next are a series of sex scenes, lots of drug use, some paint and blood splatter, and a story that failed to keep my attention. I kept thinking I’d seen a similar film, but couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe it's just all those sex-scandal movies I've seen over the years running together.

Available February 26th from Redemption DVD, this film may satisfy the softcore lover, but doesn’t do much else, as it’s attempt to spark the sado-psyche even fails.

Die and Let Live by K-Fleet

Humor: 3
Blood and Guts: 3, but the color fluctuates from bright red paint to near-blood
Nudity: a little nippage through a white top, and a drunk dude’s bare ass
Minutes FF’ed thru: none
Overall rating: 3

An experiment at the Frumcorp Pharmaceuticals Medical Testing Facility goes awry and causes a zombie outbreak. Best friends, Smalls and Benny, have a party so Benny can hook up with Stephanie, but Liz, who has the hots for Benny, is also invited. Stephanie, however, only likes Benny as a friend, and has a thing for Smalls, who she owes for saving her life from her zombie ex-boyfriend, Andrew. Benny catches them kissing, and vows the end of their friendship, but when he realizes he’s acted childish, he makes up with Smalls, and tries to make out with Liz, but she's already started dating one of his friends.

Andrew is also the pizza delivery guy, and while trying to make his stop at Smalls house, gets bitten by the zombies. The zombies continue to lurk outside, but are unable to get in due to the fence, so in an effort to save the pizza, get Andrew's car keys, and save the day, Benny puts on his lucky shoes to face the flesh-eaters. But, the zombies break through the fence, start attacking everyone, and bite Smalls, who in turn bites Benny. Benny, not wanting to waste the pizza, goes into the house, sits on the couch, and enjoys a slice while the ending credits roll. We can only assume that he and Smalls will continue to be best friends in their new zombie life.

Die and Let Live, hmmm, another zombie movie that looks like it was a hell of a good time in the making, but just doesn’t seem to drawn in a wider audience outside of the friends and family associated with it. Troma's own, Lloyd Kaufman, does have a cameo, and although it appears to get his stamp of approval, it's still pretty disappointing. There are a few laughable one-liners, but nothing really new or exciting in story, make-up, effects, or dialog.

This reminds me of Forest of the Dead, and an even lesser known zombie movie which I was involved in titled Undead on Arrival. Once again, it was a great experience and a hoot for everyone involved, but doesn't really seem to go anywhere outside of it's local popularity.

Die and Let Live kind of plays out like Shaun of the Dead, but not nearly as clever nor humorous. However, I do applaud it for having enough impact to get distribution through a great company, Heretic Films and Ryko. Plus, the ending song, My Fanny Pack, brings some laughs to end it all.

Confessions of a Superhero by K-Fleet

Humor: 2
Blood: none
Nudity: none
Minutes FF’ed thru: none
Overall rating: 3

Christopher Lloyd Dennis plays Superman and is the most tenured performer on Hollywood Blvd. in this documentary. He’s considered a fanatic by most, and his Superman-clad apartment shows it. He estimates he has over a million dollars in memorabilia and says he’s a Superman historian. His mother was actress Sandy Dennis, and his girlfriend is a psychiatrist. They decide to attend the send-off ceremony for Christopher Reeve at the yearly Superman convention in Metropolis, IL where Margot Kidder is attending. Chris proposes to Bonnie at the convention and she accepts, but even with high hopes, he does not place in the costume contest.

Maximus Allen plays Batman and was born and raised in Texas. People said he looked like George Clooney, and when he met Superman on the strip, he suggested he join him as Batman. He has a black belt in two different martial arts, has done some boxing, and also knows hand-to-hand combat through special ops. He gets arrested for fighting with a union worker over using their bathroom, and continues to battle and see a psychiatrist for his anger issues. In the off-season, he works as a security guard, but maintains high hopes of getting discovered.

Jennifer Gerht plays Wonder Woman. She’s a very attractive brunette from Maynardville, KY, population around 2500. Her mother and aunt head the Farmers Co-op, her grandfather is the judge, and her father is a minister. Having an itch to get out, her mother buys her a plane ticket to Hollywood. Her fourth day there, she met her husband, and shortly after, they went to Vegas and got married. Things start falling apart as he focuses more on his career, and they separate. She continues to audition and is considered a strong up-and-comer.

Joe McQueen, a black man, plays the Hulk. He arrived in L.A. during the Rodney King riots. He was homeless for about 4 years, but was still able to go to auditions, and decided to use his pain to further motivate his aspirations. He finally gets a lead role in a Bruce Lee spoof movie called Fighting the Game.

The other characters on the Blvd. include Pinhead, Chewbacca, Fiona (Shrek), Ghost Rider, Charlie Chaplin, Elmo, and many more. The older performers school the newer ones on the etiquette and expectations of working on the strip. The day-in, day-out grind wear on some, and undercover police continually monitor to ensure that the performers aren’t haggling the tourists for tips or attention. Some have been arrested, made the news, and even featured on The Jimmy Kimmel Show.

This is a great documentary about those who aspire to be famous and will go to any lengths to get there. Being considered a fanatic myself (of horror movies), I can see how Christopher Dennis is nothing more than a devout fan who loves what he does and wants to portray it to the fullest. He doesn’t seem to really believe he’s Superman or Christopher Reeve, but uses the likeness to his advantage to get ahead. Watch it and laugh, maybe cry, or maybe just say, “What a bunch of losers!”, but it’s sure to entertain you.

The Devil of Blue Mountain by K-Fleet

Humor: 1
Blood: 0
Nudity: 3
Minutes FF’ed thru: none
Overall rating: 2

Two chicks leave the club and get pulled over by what they believe is a cop. They’re cuffed, frisked, gagged, and thrown in the trunk of his car. The car drives through the night, and stops in a wooded area. Here, the hooded assailant (wearing a burlap sack) ties their feet with rope, and nudges them at gun point (the least intimidating gun I’ve ever seen) through the woods.

While resting, Hoodie sneaks away to take a dump, but one of the girls gets out her cuffs, and makes a break for it. He catches up to her, gives her the “bitch betta recognize” slap, and takes her back to camp. In the meantime, the other girl has managed to get a hold of the gun, and tries to blast him, but a click with no boom is all she gets. He gives her the smack down, and they settle in for the evening.

The next day, he finds the perfect spot, tells them to disrobe, ties them to a tree, and gets a little gropage in the process. There, they wait, until a gorilla comes along, takes the bait, and gets blasted. Hoodie, now having shown his face, unties the girls, gives them each a wad of cash, and sends them on their way. He then takes a load off, and relishes in his victory, as he's defeated the beast that mauled his face sometime ago.

Quite an odd movie that I’m not sure I’ll ever really understand. Not that it's extremely complex, but what began as an exploitation movie, ended as a “What the hell was that all about?” Granted, the two chicks were pretty hot, and the gratuitous nudity helped keep the story going, or at least kept my attention, but the whole thing was just like, “Uh, okay, whatever.” If you like exploitive movies with apes, or at least a dude in a horribly fake gorilla suit, try The Beast (La Bete) by Walerian Borowczyk. An even odder movie that you'll definitely remember after watching.

I Am An Animal by K-Fleet

Humor: 3
Blood: 2, imitation animal blood
Nudity: 2, a naked protest
Minutes FF’ed thru: none
Overall rating: 4
Memorable quotes:

“I could do nothing without all of you, and that’s the God’s honest truth.” The funny thing about this is that Ingrid claims to be an atheist. So, why would she refer to a God which she does not believe in nor recognize? Yet another marketing ploy for PETA?

Ingrid Newkirk, co-founder and president of PETA, is quite an interesting bird. She’s dedicated her life to saving animals, conducting undercover investigations for animal rights, and holding elaborate demonstrations to educate onlookers and humiliate those she’s determined are violators. ConAgra Foods of Ozark, Arkansas, a turkey supplier for Butterball, gets targeted, and after an extensive (PETA) investigation and public outing, they decide to sell off the account to a new supplier. Another victory for Ms. Newkirk. PETA has also used campaigns comparing animal slaughter to the killing of the Jews during the Holocaust. There seems to be no bounds to what this organization will do as they continue to use shock marketing to get their message across, whether it's relevant or not.

Ingrid also participates in a monthly outreach for dogs, providing food, shelter, and vet care where needed. She’s perfected her own form of euthanasia when animals cannot be saved, and claims that it’s a “happier” way to go because it’s unexpected.

This is a good documentary and should be watched if for nothing else than to see just how fanatical these folks are. Plus, Ingrid’s demands of what she'd like happen with her body after death is just straight bonkers. This chick is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!

Gangsta Rap: The Glockumentary by K-Fleet

Humor: 3
Blood: none
Nudity: none
Minutes FF’ed thru: none
Overall rating: 3
Memorable quotes:
In regards to the first song they ever did: “We was gon do Beat Your Momma With a Hammer, but we thought like F-ck that Bitch was a little bit mo’ commercial.”

In the same vein as CB4 and Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, Gangsta Rap: The Glockumentary will make you giggle. Murder Mike, Du Rag, and DJ Ballistics comprise the 40 year old gangsta rap group trying to make their comeback, but find it hard to ink a deal. Fat gold chains, jerry curls, perms, blunts, comedic parodies, and lots of profanity is what this film is all about. Sure, some scenes are straight ridiculous, but overall it’ll bring a few laughs for those who grew up in the 80’s and listened to West Coast rap.

2007 Movie of the Year: Antibodies from Dark Sky Films by K-Fleet

Okay, so this is rehashed from a prior review I did, but out of everything I watched this year, this one takes the cake.

Based off the cover art alone, I expected big things for this, not to mention, it was released by Dark Sky Films, who although disappointed me with their last venture (Search and Destroy/The Glove), has put out some great films in the past and definitely redeemed themselves with this one.

Entertainment factor: 5

Blood: 2

Nudity: 3, full-frontal male and one topless female

Humor: 1, this is more on the serious tip

Minutes FF'ed Thru: 0

Other: In German with English subtitles

Memorable quotes:

"After dinner, you'll get your notebook and write, 'It's indecent to show my penis' 500 times."

"...relatives, friends, and show me who could kill a child!" The humor level in this is that Dark Sky also released the movie Who Can Kill a Child?, so I wonder if this was inspiration to pick up both titles.

This movie had elements of Silence of the Lambs, Seven, and American Psycho, among others. You can't go wrong when a movie begins with a naked man (not that I'm a fan but...) who blows a hole through a cop's chest with a sawed-off, double-barrel shotgun, and then smears blood on his face, like battle paint, and crashes through his front door (in the buff) to charge the rest of squad. In another scene, we see that he uses his victims blood to paint pictures of Christ's crucifixtion. The whole movie boils down to a mind screw, reminiscent of Hannibal Lecter, with a great storyline, dialog, and action that will keep you watching.

It may be coincidental, but the dark-colored blood is familiar with other German directors, Andreas Schnass and Andreas Bethmann. I haven't been this entertained since the movie Feed, so this is my mid-year nomination for movie of the year. Watch and be disgusted.

It's great that it had so much impact that I called it early on, but sad that there was nothing else to top it, or even come close in the other 11 months. Although, the more mainstream feature, Pan's Labyrinth, would run a close second.

Early 2008 potential gems from Dark Sky include: Tragic Ceremony (1972) and Ricco the Mean Machine (1973) available January 29th.

Dear Pillow by K-Fleet

Humor: 3
Blood: none
Nudity: none
Minutes FF’ed thru: none
Overall rating: 3
Memorable quotes:
“Jerking off at work, how embarrassing is that?”

Dear Pillow is a dual-layered story about Wes’s ambition to lose his virginity, whether it be from a female co-worker, his Mexican landlady (Llorna), or the weird guy next door (Dusty), who writes erotic letters for Dear Pillow magazine. Wes is also on a quest to get his erotic stories published through Dusty’s tutelage.

Wes gets his story ideas from listening to his landlady’s phone conversations on his short wave radio and viewing his father’s porn collection. After sharing a story with Dusty, he thinks they should ask her permission to publish them, but Wes isn’t comfortable with that. Llorna gets wind of what he’s been doing, and approaches him in the laundry room. She then puts him on the spot and makes him tell her what he would do to her in bed. Dusty runs with his initial idea, and arranges a dinner date with everyone, where he breaks the news to Wes that he’s purchased the rights to a phone conversation.

Since Dusty is gay, and Wes has been spending a lot of time with him, his father fears that his son might have homosexual tendencies too. So, for his 17th birthday, he tries to take him to a strip club, but they're denied at the door because he's still too young. Wes then tries to reassure him that nothing has happened and there's nothing to worry about.

Dusty arranges for Wes to lose his virginity to Llorna on film, but she has a different idea, and that’s for Wes to have sex with her AND him. But, it doesn’t go as planned, so nothing happens. When Wes returns home, his father is pissed at him for being in his porn stash again, so he leaves and returns to Dusty's asking if he can stay there for the night. It’s eluded that they may share an intimate evening, but that’s where the movie ends.

I liked this movie, and although there was no nudity, which I thought there might be based on the film description and situations involved, it still managed to pull off a good story. Definitely worth checking out.

Thanks again to at Alex at Heretic for sending me a copy.

Cannibal Man by K-Fleet

Humor: 1
Blood: 3
Nudity: 2
Minutes FF’ed thru: none
Overall rating: 3

It seems like just another day at the slaughter house, as the movie opens with cows hanging upside down, their throats being slit, and buckets held below to catch the blood.

During an altercation, a taxi driver is (accidentally?) killed from repeated blows to the head from a rock. When it’s mentioned in the newspaper the next day, the killer’s girlfriend thinks they should turn themselves in. This idea isn’t welcomed, so he chokes her to death in fear of her snitching. He then tells his brother what he’s done, and is told again that he should turn himself in. Not happy with the advice, he knocks his brother in the head several times with a wrench. His brother’s fiancé comes poking around and gets a knife to throat, while her father, who’s investigating why his daughter hasn't make it home, takes a meat cleaver to the head. As the bodies pile up, so does the stench, so Marcos buys lots of air freshener and perfumes to try to cover it up.

A waitress, who has a fancy for him, drops by to cook dinner, but gets her head pounded into the wall after finding out too much. He stores all the corpses in his bedroom, cuts up what body parts will fit in a duffel bag, and takes them to work (the slaughterhouse) to discard. He meets a (bisexual?) friend who wants to help, but in the end, Marcos decides to turn himself in and returns home to wait for the police.

The first 30-45 minutes is where all the action takes place, kill after kill after kill. After hearing the first few phrases of dialog, it was obvious that something was missing, due to the horrible dubbing. And, even though I’m sure it was done to help attract a wider audience, I’d rather have watched it in the original language with subtitles. This is also a no-frills DVD, which along with no extras, also had no title menu at start-up, but it oddly became available once the feature was over and the credits ran.

This movie is kind of reminiscent of Maniac! and Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer, but the title doesn't fit as there isn't a single scene or even hint of cannibalism. It’s not the best movie Blue Underground has unearthed, but worth a watch for those with an insatiable thirst for early 70’s horror. For something a little better, try Bad Boy Buddy, Macabre, or Autopsy.

Orgasm Torture in Satan's Rape Clinic by K-Fleet

WARNING-this movie and review is intended for mature audiences only and may contain sexual descriptions and references. Read at your own risk of being appalled.

Humor: 1
Blood: 1
Nudity: 3
Minutes FF’ed thru: 5-10 min.
Overall rating: 2

While getting ready for work at her rape clinic, Zoe Moonshine is attacked and strangled by a masked assailant, who then takes over the helm as the new doctor of the clinic. Darian Caine is his nurse and Ruby Larocca is their first patient. The doctor’s therapy for treating such a vile crime is delving into his own perversions with the patient through the guidance of The Dark Lord (Satan). After being felt-up by the doc, Ruby tries to flee, but is chloroformed and tied to the medical table. Nurse Caine shares the same perversion as the doc, and cuts off Ruby’s bra and panties and then fondles her. What follows are two different simulated dildoing scenes, one by the hand of Caine and the other is Larocca’s self-gratification. Ruby then suggests to Darian that they switch roles, and as Darian gets ready on the table, Ruby jabs a syringe into her neck. She then exits the room and while looking for an exit route, runs into the doc, who he uses a tuning fork to control her thoughts. He then babbles some jargon about/to Satan and that’s the end.

I’ve seen several other William Hellfire films, the best being Vampire Strangler, where young Misty Mundae has a real sex scene. This film, however, is fairly forgettable, as is most of his others, due to sub-par acting, long, drawn out softcore scenes, and ridiculous plots. But, there’s plenty of nakedness and even some crotch shots. The title may drawn you in, as it did me, and as hard as I tried to fight it, my curiosity got the best of me and I dropped the money for it. It sat in my house at least 6 months before I got a chance to watch it, and boy, it was not worth the wait. Clocking in at about 45 minutes long, Orgasm Torture in Satan’s Rape Clinic is another Hellfire failure that’s more like a high school film project, with nudity, than an actual feature. It’s not worth the cash, unless you can get it for like 5 bucks in a bargain bin, so just turn on late night cable and you’ll get the same effect, if not more.

Succubus (from Evil Motion Pictures) by K-Fleet

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